Y'know what.
I'm feeling pretty good.
Perhaps blissfull ignorance is a good thing at times, as allowing myself to forget about my work for a week or so has been pretty good. Home was cool. I didnt do much, mooched about a bit, watched too much tv, etc. But I got a break. I left my laptop charger in london, so I couldnt work while I was there, which was annoying, but I was forced to stop.
And now, for whatever reason, I'm smiling a lot more. I dont know what about.
I've been thinking a lot about summer, and next year. I cannot wait for this year to end really. Theres a lot to do, but the reward will be, at least I hope, a fantastic summer and a simply amazing experience in year 3 at uni.
Summer is going to involve the weddings of a good friend and my best friend, a week in a cottage by the beach, Soul Survivor, Momentum, and a genuine chance to stop for a while, spend time in the sun. Good food, good beer, good company is the name of the game. Though perhaps not strictly in that order.
Year 3....why am I excited about that? Dissertation, hard work, etc etc.
You see, I'm currently working for two qualifactions. One of those I earn at the end of this year (assuming I pass...). That means next year I have about 25-30 thousand LESS words, although I pick up a 10,000 word dissertation, which I am actually looking forward to doing. A big chunk of what I do currently will be no more though. I will be a professionally trained youth worker. Which, in my case, will mean more responsibility at work, and the degree work will be tough...but I'm actually really excited about it.
Some people will also be leaving the course at the end of the year, which could be a good thing. That is no mark on my feelings towards my course mates, theres noone I really dislike or dont/cant get on with, but if a 20 student group becomes a 15 student group...I dont know, I think even if people I love move on it'll make a tighter student group. I just feel really good about it.
Course...step 1 is the 16,000 words that sit in front of me in the next month and a half...
If you're of the praying pursuasion, I would appreciate the help = ]
Anyway...this is perhaps the dullest stuff I have ever written. But it is the first time in a while I've felt genuinely positive, so I thought I'd share.
Bless you all. It's bed time now...back to lectures...and essay results. Joyous.
Peace, and all that comes with it.
Sunday, 18 April 2010
Tuesday, 6 April 2010
Going home!
Good evening.
I haven't blogged 'properly' in quite a while. Not in a way you might recognise the person writing the words.
How's it going folks?
I've been pretty distant to everything recently, not just blogging. My parents will tell you that when faced with genuine challenges, my natural reaction is to retract myself, into a metaphorical turtle shell to shield myself from failure. It's not a good way of dealing with things, nor does it make you feel good. What it does do is numbs your emotion. The result being I don't stress. But I also don't thrive.
I am in my prime when I release that, throw off the shell, shake off fear of failure and challenge myself. For a while I did that, and a mix of work and being tempted away from stuff that will keep me close to God (see The Screwtape Letters) have ultimately meant I've just tripped up. Again. I've not even been to worship at my 'other' church for about 2-3 months because I've been working every week. I need to fix that...I miss it.
Anyway. Far from simply saying "bahhh I fail at this 'life' thing", I'm feeling more positive tonight. Not sure why, I think its something to do with going home tomorrow morning. It's an odd thing, living at home I could not wait to get out. In the later years I did not enjoy living at home. While at times fine, at others it was just about bearable...now I love being home for a week. Its peculiar that the relationships in families get better when you can spend time apart, whereas with nearly any other type of relationship they grow with time spent together...strange, non?
Oui.
So yes. Back to Manchester. Im going to spend tomorrow night with the brother. A few pints, a "healthy" meal, and a film of some sort. One that makes us go "AWWWESOME!" would be pretty sweet. 'Pokemon: The Movie - 7' it is then.
I dont see my parents until saturday or something stupid. They're away doing something with someone else somewhere. If I listened more I'd probably know.
In my work I've spent a lot of time with people who don't have a good relationship with their parents or siblings, and I feel exceptionally lucky to have my family. I can only live with them for about 2 weeks before the nagging from mum kicks in and I have to come back to London but I wouldn't change it. I love them, and I owe them the world because their support is a part of what makes me want to keep going.
See, if I failed this course I'd have to move back in with them.
OOONLY JOKING! Sort of, I'm not sure.
Forgive the sentiment, its late. Mum will probably cry when she reads this. That'll be fun.
So a break it is. A week at home, time to relax. And when I come back there will be no shell for me to hide in.
I haven't blogged 'properly' in quite a while. Not in a way you might recognise the person writing the words.
How's it going folks?
I've been pretty distant to everything recently, not just blogging. My parents will tell you that when faced with genuine challenges, my natural reaction is to retract myself, into a metaphorical turtle shell to shield myself from failure. It's not a good way of dealing with things, nor does it make you feel good. What it does do is numbs your emotion. The result being I don't stress. But I also don't thrive.
I am in my prime when I release that, throw off the shell, shake off fear of failure and challenge myself. For a while I did that, and a mix of work and being tempted away from stuff that will keep me close to God (see The Screwtape Letters) have ultimately meant I've just tripped up. Again. I've not even been to worship at my 'other' church for about 2-3 months because I've been working every week. I need to fix that...I miss it.
Anyway. Far from simply saying "bahhh I fail at this 'life' thing", I'm feeling more positive tonight. Not sure why, I think its something to do with going home tomorrow morning. It's an odd thing, living at home I could not wait to get out. In the later years I did not enjoy living at home. While at times fine, at others it was just about bearable...now I love being home for a week. Its peculiar that the relationships in families get better when you can spend time apart, whereas with nearly any other type of relationship they grow with time spent together...strange, non?
Oui.
So yes. Back to Manchester. Im going to spend tomorrow night with the brother. A few pints, a "healthy" meal, and a film of some sort. One that makes us go "AWWWESOME!" would be pretty sweet. 'Pokemon: The Movie - 7' it is then.
I dont see my parents until saturday or something stupid. They're away doing something with someone else somewhere. If I listened more I'd probably know.
In my work I've spent a lot of time with people who don't have a good relationship with their parents or siblings, and I feel exceptionally lucky to have my family. I can only live with them for about 2 weeks before the nagging from mum kicks in and I have to come back to London but I wouldn't change it. I love them, and I owe them the world because their support is a part of what makes me want to keep going.
See, if I failed this course I'd have to move back in with them.
OOONLY JOKING! Sort of, I'm not sure.
Forgive the sentiment, its late. Mum will probably cry when she reads this. That'll be fun.
So a break it is. A week at home, time to relax. And when I come back there will be no shell for me to hide in.
Thursday, 1 April 2010
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