Going home!

Good evening.

I haven't blogged 'properly' in quite a while. Not in a way you might recognise the person writing the words.

How's it going folks?

I've been pretty distant to everything recently, not just blogging. My parents will tell you that when faced with genuine challenges, my natural reaction is to retract myself, into a metaphorical turtle shell to shield myself from failure. It's not a good way of dealing with things, nor does it make you feel good. What it does do is numbs your emotion. The result being I don't stress. But I also don't thrive.

I am in my prime when I release that, throw off the shell, shake off fear of failure and challenge myself. For a while I did that, and a mix of work and being tempted away from stuff that will keep me close to God (see The Screwtape Letters) have ultimately meant I've just tripped up. Again. I've not even been to worship at my 'other' church for about 2-3 months because I've been working every week. I need to fix that...I miss it.

Anyway. Far from simply saying "bahhh I fail at this 'life' thing", I'm feeling more positive tonight. Not sure why, I think its something to do with going home tomorrow morning. It's an odd thing, living at home I could not wait to get out. In the later years I did not enjoy living at home. While at times fine, at others it was just about bearable...now I love being home for a week. Its peculiar that the relationships in families get better when you can spend time apart, whereas with nearly any other type of relationship they grow with time spent together...strange, non?

Oui.

So yes. Back to Manchester. Im going to spend tomorrow night with the brother. A few pints, a "healthy" meal, and a film of some sort. One that makes us go "AWWWESOME!" would be pretty sweet. 'Pokemon: The Movie - 7' it is then.

I dont see my parents until saturday or something stupid. They're away doing something with someone else somewhere. If I listened more I'd probably know.

In my work I've spent a lot of time with people who don't have a good relationship with their parents or siblings, and I feel exceptionally lucky to have my family. I can only live with them for about 2 weeks before the nagging from mum kicks in and I have to come back to London but I wouldn't change it. I love them, and I owe them the world because their support is a part of what makes me want to keep going.

See, if I failed this course I'd have to move back in with them.

OOONLY JOKING! Sort of, I'm not sure.

Forgive the sentiment, its late. Mum will probably cry when she reads this. That'll be fun.

So a break it is. A week at home, time to relax. And when I come back there will be no shell for me to hide in.