Underwhelmed?

I'll write a proper blog again soon. For now, a song hit me pretty hard this morning:

"I keep expecting so much, but I see little in return. I'm desperate for the deeper moments, but nothing happens. I'm needing meaning in this life, it seems I'm carrying too much. Everything I've known has come into question, lessons I've learned just seem to tear apart.

You promised me so much when I began to walk with You. You said we'd change the world together but now it just seems we are nowhere further on.


And I am Underwhelmed again, I'm wanting more than you are giving. Is there more than I am seeing? There must be more than this.

So i'm at the lowest low now. Thinking its time to can it all. I need a breakthrough from the nothing, but I'm remembering your call...where it all started. Hearing fresh Your voice again, something calling me to press on. And suddenly, I find myself bowing down...

And I am overwhelmed, I hear Your voice still calling for me.

Overwhelmed again. Remembering all You've made for me.

Overwhelmed again. Not deserving all You're giving.

Overwhelmed again. Another chance at truly living..."

I seem to constantly find myself 'underwhelmed' lately. I guess its important to keep reminding myself that even through the darkness I am loved and saved by an almighty, compassionate and straight up epic God.

"For You"

"Its been a while since you walked the earth,

That doesn’t mean I cant go on, living life

‘cause I live it for You, each and every day.

My heart it burns, my heart it burns, it burns inside for You.

Even till this day, I still live my life for You…for You.

For you I will pay, ‘take everything’ I pray

For You…for You I will pay.

The selfishness in me I see in you,

Can’t you see He died for you too?

Are you not ashamed? You’re living just for you.

Take it all away, take it all away,

My sin, my shame, the cost: I’ll die for You.

Take it all away, take it all away,

My greed, my lust, I give it all to You.”

I overslept today. Missed my lecture.

I’m on the coach now. A song just popped up on shuffle that I haven’t heard in about 3 years. Which brings me to the random spewed nonsense you see above.

I wrote it when I was 17. Its horrible, the lyrical structure makes no sense, its incredibly generic in its verse-chorus makeup, and is just generally not very good at all. But my word…

I’d die to have that passion back right now.