If I go down, you are most definately coming with me...

My brain starts to think too much at 2am. I'm not sure why. Maybe its the same for a lot of people, and maybe this is why I find myself having the deepest discussions with people late at night.

Whatever the reason, right now its 2:14am, I'm wide awake and, as is the norm at this time, I'm overthinking.

What am I overthinking? Ahhh many things I suppose. Nothing bad. On the contrary, I'm in a pretty good mood. A mad one, but good.

I'll tell you what my brain is doing. It's running back and forward, debating with itself the potential pro's and con's of bungee jumping.

But no, not the jumping off a high bridge bungee jump. I'm talking about big decision bungee jumping.

Think about it. I've never done it myself, but it is my understanding that when you go bungee jumping, theres the anticipation of it, theres the nerves as you go up to the jump point, the moment you look over the edge, maybe panic a bit, and the moments before you dive, heart filled with terror...

But then you jump...I imagine that moment your diving is quite serene. "I've done it" you'd think. "Hard parts over". Course then you have the part your sprung back up, and you bobble up and down for a while, maybe throw up, but thats beside the point. I suppose what im trying to say is the vast majority of people who bungee jump go through the same emotions, but come out glad they did it, whether the experience was good or bad.

Where am I? Not sure...around about the point someone is deciding whether or not to book a bungee jump.

The way I see it, I have three options.

1) Stuff is working right now. Dont change whats not broke, right? Put down the phone book, no point doing a silly thing like bungee jumping. It'd only put you through an unnecessary amount of headmash!!

2) Keep considering...Maybe bungee jumping is for you? Carry on thinking about it, maybe the best decision will become more obvious as time goes on. Bide your time. It's worked in the past!

3) Do it. Take the dive. You might hate it, but you'll be glad you went for it whatever. At the very least you'll remove the doubt, and it'll be one less thing to question at 2 in the morning! It could even be one of the best things you do in your life...

Profound? No, not really. I think i stretched that metaphor too long. The point is, I think I'm terrified of stuff like this. Exchanging something I'm comfortable and happy with for a 50/50 chance at either something better or something worse.

The funny thing is, it's not a decision I should make on my own. I've been praying about it for about a month. No revelation, no bright light showing the right path, no miraculous signs pointing to the way. But thats okay. I know God will help me make this decision, and I know he wants me to make him a part of it.

Thing is, I'd much rather he made the decision for me. I'll just close my eyes and hold on tight...but I learnt not too long ago he doesn't work like that. Free will is a beautiful thing...but you gotta hate it sometimes = ]

P.S. I got a tattoo. Sorry Mum.
















P.P.S. This is not the bungee jump.